The Minutes from your Last Student Council Meeting
“She’s banned from Maccy D’s because of that thing with the Crunchie McFlurry…”
- by Tom Starkey
Student Council Meeting
Present:
Staff
- GL – (Deputy Vice Principal)
- RL
- PB
- CC
Students
- Stephanie 9LL
- Georgina 10TL
- Travis 11BT
Meeting held in: Originally 9LL home room but changed to Meeting Room 1 due to Georgina not liking 9LL’s home room and everyone being too frightened to argue with her.
Item 1 – The students are revolting
The student feedback list was discussed. Stephanie was unhappy as to the progress made with reference to the concerns from the last meeting. She wondered if student voice was really being listened to.
“Bit difficult not to when certain ones won’t shut up,” muttered PB. Quietly. So as not to get into trouble.
The list of concerns was reviewed. Stephanie once again highlighted the importance of the prospective ‘chill-out’ zone for the upper school students.
“They have one. They call it ‘school’,” interjected PB again, but was uncharacteristically quiet when Stephanie enquired as to what had been said as she hadn’t quite heard it.
“Nothing,” answered PB, eyes glued to the floor.
That’s what Stephanie thought.
Stephanie then handed the floor to her enforcers fellow student council members, Georgina and Travis, to report on the ongoing cafeteria issues.
Georgina wanted to make it clear that if portion sizes did not improve then there would be a full boycott of the cafeteria until such a time as the students received more than four chips per plate because, she stated, it’s important to watch your weight like, but she ain’t paying for that when there’s Maccy D’s down the road and yeah she knows she’s banned from Maccy D’s because of that thing with the Crunchie McFlurry and that dickhead Mason but still.
Travis then pointed out that it must be the same for the teachers – neither group can do their best work on an empty stomach, so it’s for the good of everyone that things change.
This almost got a standing ovation from the staff present (apart from GL, who was responsible for the procurement of the catering company, the manager of which may, or may not be his cousin Darren).
Stephanie then raised a finger, indicating that it was time to move onto the next agenda item. All was silence.
Item 2 – Judgement day
Stephanie proposed that there should be an annual performance review of teachers, carried out by the students. Epic power move on her part.
Let it be said that the teaching staff were none too happy about the prospect. All except GL, who was massively enthusiastic about the idea as it would encompass true student voice, give youngsters agency over their own learning, and make sure that teaching was kept firmly student centered.
Stephanie then went on to state that it would not just be teaching staff who would be appraised; the senior leadership team would also be judged by the kids.
GL immediately shelved the idea as completely impractical.
Stephanie stated that she would remember this when the time came.
AOB
The fact that the most popular answer to the anonymous student feedback question ‘Is there anything at school that makes you uncomfortable?’ was ‘Stephanie’ was not discussed. Or mentioned. Or will be. Ever.
Meeting adjourned
With at least six of the participants going in urgent search of chips.
