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Outrageous And Funny One-Star Reviews Of Great Children’s Books

'The characters' names were too plain', 'my ebook never came in the post' and other bizarre online criticism of children's literature

  • Outrageous And Funny One-Star Reviews Of Great Children’s Books

There’s always one isn’t there?

Amidst the applause and adulation, someone’s not going to like a book.

Sometimes, in fact, they outright hate a book.

Sometimes, they hate that book so much that they just have to balance out all the five-stars reviews with ‘the truth’ (also known as the one-star review).

And sometimes, that ‘truth’ is pretty hilarious.

Here are some of the finest one-star Amazon reviews of beloved children’s books:

1. Book=cheesy, bunny slippers=totally cool

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

2. To the point, I guess

Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson

3. Don’t leave us hanging

The Odyssey by Homer

So…have you bought the book yet or not?

4. It’s only been used in schools for nearly 70 years

Charlotte’s Web by EB White

Sorry teachers, you’re all wrong. That pig ain’t inspiring nuttin’.

5. Yeah! Screw you, Beth!

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Someone is all outta sympathy right here.

6. That’s not how that phrase goes

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone

That dastardly wolf strikes again


Heh, heh, heh

7. Make your mind up

The Twits by Roald Dahl

8. Your name is boring, Hogarth

The Iron Man by Ted Hughes

Maybe Ted Hughes should have asked Douglas Adams for help on naming characters

9. Just, no

Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll


The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett

11. Not sure how Kindles work

Demon Dentist by David Walliams

Someone has been waiting very patiently by the door for months now for their ebook to be posted.

12. hg h h h u u u u y y g u y y h u u

Ratburger by David Walliams

This book was so dull the review fell asleep on his keyboard mid-sentence.

13. Didn’t make as much money either

The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien

Well, you did give it 1 star, so that makes it better than the film in my book.

(It’s cool to put ‘Ooh, burn’ GIFs on your own jokes, right?)

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