How Not to Run a Parental Engagement Meeting
“People were engaging in mortal combat in the sports hall” – Tom Starkey takes a tongue-in-cheek look at your school’s last staff meeting…
- by Tom Starkey
Present:
- GL – (Deputy Vice Principal)
- TF
- RR
- KM
Meeting held in:
The sports hall. NB – there is no bar in the sports hall.
Item 1 – Pub politics
The meeting was called to explore different ways to increase parental engagement and to address the lack of communication between the PTA and… well… just about anyone really.
“It’s because they hold all their meetings at The Griffin and by the end of it they’re all so tanked they’ve forgotten what it is they’re supposed to talk about,” explained RR.
“They literally… literally couldn’t organise a bake sale.”
GL interjected at this point to remind those present that it was just this sort of unsubstantiated hearsay and conjecture that builds walls between the school and the surrounding community.
“Don’t be daft. I was with them Tuesday night,” said RR. “Only hearsay was Pure and Simple on the karaoke. The PTA leader’s my cousin. Bless her, Sarah’s got her heart in the right place but once that third WKD is down her the only fundraising that’ll be going on is getting cashback.”
GL suggested then, if that was the case, perhaps a new PTA election should be held so the school could move forward into a brighter future of partnership.
The reaction from the rest of the group was akin to him suggesting that they go out and shoot a puppy.
“Are you insane man?” from the usually mild-mannered TF. “After it all went Game of Thrones with the last one? People were a step away from engaging in mortal combat in the sports hall during the vote. Is that what you want? Blood?”
“Also, to be fair,” from RR, “if you try taking it away from Sarah, that’s what you get. It’d be like that bit in Goodfellas. Folk would end up in freezers. Well…” she added, eyeing up GL, “some folk, anyway.”
GL shelved the idea – but requested, seeing there was already a relationship there, that RR suggest to the head of the PTA that perhaps they hold their meetings somewhere where there’s a better chance of remembering any of the ideas they have come morning.
“Ooh, no love, I won’t be doing that.” from RR.
The idea was not actioned.
Item 2 – Every penny counts…
As it stands, at this current moment, the grand total for the PTA fundraising drive for a new school minibus now stands at the hugely impressive 17 pounds and 32p.
“Well, that’s a good 32p better than last time we checked.” stated KM. “I think we can take that as a positive.” before cracking up into gales of laughter.
“Guess it’s a good thing we never win anything that means we have to travel to games.” said TF, trying desperately to look on the bright side.
“OK, OK…” RR interjected at this point. “I’ll have a word with Sarah about getting their act together. But, I’m warning you – once you’re in, you’re in. They’ve got ways of getting what they want that lot. Sometimes it isn’t pretty. But then again, it’s the PTA. You don’t mess.”
AOB
Figuring out how to not end up in a fridge.
Meeting adjourned
For a swift pint. Anywhere but The Griffin.
Tom Starkey is a teacher and writer who blogs at stackofmarking.wordpress.com. Follow him on Twitter at @tstarkey1212.
