The 12 Tweets of Christmas – Festive Funnies to Make you Laugh at the End of the School Term
Up to your eyeballs in nativity plays and Christmas carols? Harness the power of social media and share a laugh with people who could also do with a glass of mulled wine or two…
1 | It’s a time for spending more money than you’ve got
I've spent over 100 dollars on Christmas gifts for a kid that doesn't know the meaning of the words Christmas, gifts, 100, or dollars.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 14, 2015
2 | Or wishing for more than you have
All I want for Christmas is for someone to pay off my debilitating student loans…but I guess this mug is good too, thanks.
— Julia Yorks (@juliayorks) December 21, 2015
3 | At least some parents have got your back
For Christmas I gave my kids' teachers grocery store gift cards along with a map of the quickest route to the liquor aisle.
— Wendy S. (@maughammom) December 16, 2015
4 | And the kids are…trying
Kids: We are making you a Christmas gift!
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 3, 2018
Me: Oh, that is so sweet-
K: *pull out paint*
Me: You really don’t-
K: *pull out glue*
Me: Really, guys, I don’t need-
K: *pull out glitter*
Me: Christmas is cancelled.
5 | Really trying
Wow, my kids are decorating the heck out of this small lower left section of our Christmas tree.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 1, 2018
6 | Which is more than can be said of the cat
7 | But then, cats are cats
I don’t know who’s worse, the people who sign their cats’ names on Christmas cards, or the cats who refuse to sign.
— Viktor Winetrout (@Cpin42) December 24, 2013
8 | And you’re pleased that the kids are still listening, and learning, even if it’s not always the right lesson
3-year-old: *finishes watching "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 24, 2015
Me: What did you learn?
3-year-old: How to get all the presents.
9 | And their fact-checking skills have improved
"Google that and prove it." – 6yr-old when I told her she's not getting a cat because Santa is allergic to them.
— Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) December 24, 2015
10 | Which is good, because there are some dubious morals in Christmas songs and tales
"I don't want a lot for Christmas."
— Sacha Fernando (@sacha_is_good) December 14, 2014
Later…
"All I want for Christmas is you."
EXACTLY WHAT DOES THAT DO FOR MY SELF-CONFIDENCE, MARIAH.
11 | Remember, it’s a season of giving
“So your new carol is just eight verses of you demanding figgy pudding with increasing hostility.”
— Nic Sampson (@NicSampson) December 20, 2017
“That’s right.”
“And it’s called We Wish You A Merry Christmas?”
“Yes”
“Buts it not really about Christmas is it? It’s mostly about figgy—“
“—figgy pudding yeah.”
12 | And togetherness
Just so we’re clear, The Grinch never really hated Christmas. He hated people, which is fair.
— kyrie kringle (@random_weighs) November 25, 2017
