PrimarySecondaryHealth & Wellbeing

Want To Stop The Rise In Mental Health Issues? Let Young People Know They Matter

Simple things you can do to let students know you recognise and appreciate them as individuals can go a long way to improving their wellbeing

by Jane Evans

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Recently I delivered training to some teachers of looked after children, other teachers, teaching support staff, SENCOs, heads of year and deputy headteachers. We looked at what early childhood trauma is, how to recognise it in a child’s behaviour, and what they need in order to be more regulated and able to access their education.

At the end of each of the Masterclasses, I asked the delegates for their one thing. Namely, what they were going to take from the Masterclass to do with, and for, the children.

Several of them mentioned a recent YouTube clip showing a teacher greeting each of his pupils with a secret handshake. They said they would start every day greeting each pupil, by smiling and connecting with them in a way that would make it clear that they saw them as an individual who mattered. <h2 class="wp-block-heading">Mattering and mental health</h2> This was all happening during <a href="https://www.teachwire.net/news/11-films-for-teaching-childrens-mental-health-week/" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noopener">Children’s Mental Health Week</a> when many in the media, and elsewhere, were posing the question, “Why are so many children increasingly suffering with mental illness?”, a topic I often talk and write about. It seems incredible that in an age where we know so much about the development and function of the brain that children are still struggling with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses. • One in 10 children and young people aged 5-16 suffer from a diagnosable mental health disorder – that’s around three children in every class • Between one in every 12 and one in 15 children and young people deliberately self-harm • There has been a big increase in the number of young people being admitted to hospital because of self harm. Over the last 10 years this figure has increased by 68%. Source: <a href="http://www.youngminds.org.uk/training_services/policy/mental_health_statistics" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Young Minds</a> <h2 class="wp-block-heading">How can a sense of ‘mattering’ make a difference?</h2> It is a basic human survival need to feel that we emotionally and physically exist and matter to others. As a helpless baby, dependent on the care and responses from the adults around us we are first shaped by the quality and quantity of these relational experiences. They develop the reactivity of our brain and our nervous system. Too few interactions, or ones which create more stress, or fail to reduce it, and we end up feeling we don’t matter enough, or are a source of stress to others. Fast forward to adulthood, you are standing in the queue at the checkout in the supermarket with a full trolley of shopping. You notice the person behind has just a box of cereal so you let them go in front. They pass through the checkout, pay and are gone without so much as a glance in your direction. You are left shaking your head in disbelief, or shouting after them, “THANK YOU!!!”, or you proceed to feel a mixture of being angry, upset and frustrated. You’re thinking, ‘How damn rude, how ignorant, why did I bother?’ Your act of kindness didn’t matter which triggers the sense that you don’t matter! <h2 class="wp-block-heading">This is simply an emotional, survival-based response to someone who may just have…</h2> a) been in a rush b) felt really embarrassed and couldn’t face saying thanks c) said thanks, but you missed it d) been someone suffering with anxiety or depression, and in too much of a state to do the right thing Actually, it says more about you than about them. If you quickly got over it and readily attributed one of the above explanations to their behaviour it shows that you have a good sense of yourself and aren’t greatly stressed by ‘not mattering’ experiences like this one. On the other hand, if you were outraged by their seeming rudeness, and ended up being angry and upset, it’s more likely that being ignored causes you stress and strong emotions which take you from your intelligent brain area to your emotional, survival one. When this happens we get flicked in to a fight/flight/freeze response. As a baby, not mattering can be a threat to our survival as we can suffer, or even die, from starvation or lack of nurture. As a child, we feel more emotionally and physically regulated and balanced when can we feel, in our body, and rationalise, in our brain, that the key adults care about us. This is foundational to good mental health, to physical wellness and to being free to be curious enough to learn new skills and concepts, to feeling joy in life and being ready to get along with others. <h2 class="wp-block-heading">What can you do today to show a child they matter?</h2> Take a moment to think of your one thing. Write it down, make a commitment to it, and do it. Track the changes in the children you care for and teach, and in yourself. For example: • Say hi and use the name of every child who arrives in your class or setting • Remember to ask about, or mention, something you know is important to them, eg how their new puppy is doing, how their team did at the weekend etc • Take a moment to check in with each of them about any feelings they have from break time • Smile at them, each of them • Say goodbye and thank them for their work, kindness, sense of fun etc today Jane Evans is a childhood and parenting trauma expert, as well as a speaker, trainer, author, coach and consultant. Her books include Little Meerkat’s Big Panic, Kit Kitten and the Topsy-Turvy Feelings, Cyril Squirrel Finds Out About Love and How Are You Feeling Today Baby Bear?. You can follow her on Twitter at <a href="https://twitter.com/janeparenting2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">@janeparenting2</a> and find out more at her website <a href="http://www.thejaneevans.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">thejaneevans.com</a>. Watch her TEDxBristol talk on childhood anxiety, ‘Taming and Tending Your Meerkat Brain’, here: <iframe width='500' height='281' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/qKlzd-H2X9w?rel=0' frameborder='0' allowfullscreen>

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