How Not to Hold a Curriculum Redesign Meeting
“We basically need to knowledge the crap out of everything” – Tom Starkey takes the minutes from your school’s last meeting…
- by Tom Starkey
Present:
- GL – (Deputy Vice Principal)
- BN
- RR
- CL
- and err…the trainee that I can’t remember the initials of. Nice lad. Bit daft.
Meeting held in:
The library, probably in the hope that being surrounded by all that knowledge might rub off. I’m not holding my breath – I had to stop the trainee from swiping right on a dictionary last week.
Item 1 – Knowledge rich; we’re broke
A very-pleased-with-himself GL started by stating, after painstaking analysis and the employment of a ‘Readiness Partner’ (‘or mocksted merchant’ as RR termed him – very good with the alliteration those English teachers) it has been deduced that Ofsted will be focusing on curriculum for any upcoming inspection.
“What clued you in?” RR asked. “Is it the fact that every official communication from our esteemed inspectorate has mentioned ‘curriculum’ at least a dozen times?”
She then continued to mutter under her breath regarding her opinion of Readiness Partners and those desperate enough to employ them in language that I won’t be recording here
“I need to get me some of that ‘Readiness Partner’ money,” mumbled BN, obviously daydreaming about the 20x increase in pay and not having to teach 9GB.
GL (now looking a little less pleased with himself and a little more flushed) then proceeded to continue and stated that given this information, an overhaul of the curriculum was needed to bring it in line with what would be the best for the students (or, at least a best guess as to what would get Ofsted off the school’s back for a couple of years).
Item 2 – Like we’ve never knowledged before…
“From what I can figure” said CL, “we basically just need to knowledge the crap out of everything.”
There was much nodding and affirmation of this deep insight from the rest of the group.
“Right,” GL exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “How do we go about doing that? What’s the first step?”
There was much umming and errring in response to this question from the rest of the group.
“Come on,” said GL, now with a trace of desperation in his voice. “Someone must know what a knowledge-rich curriculum looks like, surely?”
“I could have sworn I was teaching knowledge already” said BN. “But I’ll grant you I’m not rich. Not like those Readiness Partners. I bet they have Capri Suns in their lunchboxes and everything.” Wistful sighing ensued.
“What I believe,” said the trainee, as everyone jumped because they’d forgotten he was actually in the room, “is not what knowledge goes in, but whose knowledge.”
There was a chorus of groans.
“Yes, well – thank you very much for that err…Ian?”
“It’s James. I’ve been here for two months and I just thought…”
“There we are! Thinking! Thinking! Has to be a start! Let’s think about it. Maybe google something too.”
AOB
Not that anybody knows of.
Meeting adjourned
With RR explaining to Ian/James/Whatever that the really important question is exactly whose round it is…
Tom Starkey is a teacher and writer who blogs at stackofmarking.wordpress.com. Follow him on Twitter at @tstarkey1212.
