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12 memories barely repressed from primary school

Jonny Walker runs us through a dozen things from his childhood schooldays that if he can't forget, he might as well share with us all...

  • 12 memories barely repressed from primary school

1 | Intentionally drooling on myself to try to make it look like I was too ill to do SATS

2 | The teacher climbing on the roof of the school to rescue a cockatiel

3 | ‘Fitness club’, which involved carrying water to the staffroom when teachers had run out

4 | Chocolate concrete (see: ‘The North’)

5 | A teacher saying ‘I’ll rip your arm off and bash you with the soggy end’

6 | Dropping a potter’s wheel onto my shins when helping the pottery man

7 | Having ‘I like all forms of pudding’ as my main identity marker

8 | Not being able to play bulldog because an actual bulldog was in the playground

9 | Watching classmates eat copious amounts of grass during PE

10 | An ill-judged 5-a-side team called Crimson Crusaders

11 | Vest and pants roly-poly during apparatus lessons, on dusty crash mats

12 | Running into a pole repeatedly, attempting high jumps

Jonny Walker works across schools as OtherWise Education on poetry, writing and humanities projects with students and staff. Find him at otherwiseeducation.com and follow him on Twitter at @jonnywalker_edu.

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