The Key To Keeping Parents On Side? Consistent Communication
Consistent communication with parents is vital – but remember that it can be used for happy occasions too, writes Natalie Packer
As teachers, we understand what pupils are like when they are in our class, but parents have vital and unique knowledge about their child’s needs and can bring a different perspective.
Research by Henderson and Mapp suggests that when parents or carers are fully engaged in their children’s learning, their children are more likely to attend school regularly, have better social skills and achieve better outcomes.
The SEND Code of Practice recognises that parental involvement is particularly important for children and young people with additional needs, acknowledging that parents and carers know their child best of all. Parents should be fully involved in every step of the SEN process, from initial identification right through to making decisions about provision for their education, health and care plan.
Developing positive relationships with parents starts at a whole school level. Initially, this involves establishing clear communication systems between parents and staff (for example, phone calls, texts or home-school liaison books) and setting up regular opportunities for meeting with parents, such as parent forums, progress review meetings or coffee mornings. The school can then seek the views of parents on what’s working well, or not so well, in terms of SEN provision, and act upon any feedback they receive.
The role of the teacher
Working with the parents of children with SEN can be extremely beneficial. However, it can also be very challenging. You will come across families with a diverse range of needs, and for many parents the issue of their child’s SEN will be sensitive and emotionally charged. This can be especially true when a child is first diagnosed; being told their child has special needs is a difficult time for any parent, and they will need time to come to terms with the diagnosis.
Parents may hold different views to you, and although everyone wants the very best for the child, ideas as to what this might be and how to achieve it may vary! The key is to develop a positive relationship with parents, so they can have professional trust in you and you can establish effective communication.
Listening to parents’ concerns and hearing their point of view will go a long way to building that relationship. Anna, mum of Elijah who has autism, says, “The most helpful thing the teacher can do is take the time to listen to me, take my concerns seriously and just let me know what’s going well and what’s not going so well with Elijah.”
Simply giving parents the opportunity to talk about what their child is like at home and share any concerns they have can provide a really useful insight into their child’s strengths, interests and needs. It can also help you to empathise with the family and put yourself in their shoes, as far as this is possible. How would you feel if it was your child? What support would you want for them? What would you change to make things better?
To promote positive relationships with parents, make time for important conversations. Show you are really listening by making eye contact, summarising what has been said and keeping the focus on the child. Try to deal with any concerns on the day they arise. If you miss a phone call, try to return it as soon as possible, or ask someone else to ring on your behalf and let the parents know when you’ll be in touch.
Be wary of using educational jargon or acronyms that parents may not understand (there are many acronyms in SEN!). Also avoid using negative language, as it immediately creates hostility.
When you’re meeting parents as part of a review, check you have all the relevant information to hand – for example, the ISP, assessment information, pupil’s views and reports from specialists. Keep a record of any important discussions you have with parents, particularly if there is likely to be a follow up afterwards, or if potential issues may arise as a result of the conversation.
Recognise the realities of life for some parents of children with SEN (lack of sleep and high stress levels, for example), and consider the practical implications of when meetings are held to avoid childcare issues. Recognising and acknowledging how parents are feeling can immediately give comfort and reassurance, and often de-escalates a difficult situation.
Make sure communication happens for positive reasons too. If the pupil’s done something really well, let the parents know!
No matter how hard you try, you won’t always agree with parents, and you won’t always be able to help them with their concerns or allay their fears. When talking to parents about their child, at times they may become upset or angry. Don’t take it personally, as it’s usually the situation they’re expressing negative feelings towards rather than you.
Parent postcards
Although most schools use texts or emails to communicate with parents, using good old-fashioned postcards to share positive comments means the pupil can physically present the card to their parents (and the parents can then display the postcard on the fridge door!).
Alternatively, try investing in a ‘talking postcard’. These contain a voice-recording chip so that you or the pupil can record a brief verbal message for the parent, and the parent can choose to record a message in return. Talking postcards can provide a great opportunity for pupils with speech and language difficulties to practise their speaking skills by recording their own message.
Person-centred planning
The Code of Practice advocates using person-centred approaches when planning for pupils with SEN. Person-centred planning is when a facilitator, such as a teacher or SENCo, works with a pupil and their parents, wider family, friends and professionals to gather information about the child – what their strengths are, what really matters to them and what the best ways of supporting them are.
Parents are key partners in this process. The planning results in actions that are focused on the child or young person’s learning and life and reflect their long-term aspirations.
About the author
Natalie Packer is a member of the Academies Enterprise Trust SEN team and an associate consultant for Nasen. This article is an edited extract from her book The Teacher’s Guide to SEN, available now from Crown House Publishing. For more information, visit nataliepacker.co.uk or follow @NataliePacker
