“If Dad Tried To Leave, Leon Would Cry And Try To Scratch Him” – Supporting Struggling Sleepers
When a special child is having a hard time settling down at night, we must offer their family help
- by Adele Devine
Imagine that last night you could not sleep. Maybe it was stress, maybe it was noisy neighbours, or maybe your mind was racing with creative ideas. Whatever the reason for the lack of sleep it will impact on your day – and this will have a knock-on effect on those around you. You might be more snappy, more forgetful, less smiley, loving, kind and thoughtful. You probably will not look your best and you certainly won’t feel your best.
Successful slumber! On Monday morning Mum arrived with a lovely card and a box of chocolates. It had worked! The social story had reduced Leon’s anxiety and they were all able to sleep in their own beds. Hooray!
SLEEP SUPPORT
10 ways to ease bedtime with routines
1. Same order – bath, pyjamas, teeth, toilet. 2. Same bedtime (before overtiredness is an issue). 3. Same number of stories. 4. Cup of water for that last drink. 5. Social story about bedtime. 6. Tucking in tight (if liked). 7. Blackout blinds or curtains. 8. A hall light on (if requested). 9. Same firm, calm responses. 10. Reward for staying in bed.
Adele Devine is a teacher at Portesbery School and director of SEN Assist.
And sleep… I convinced Mum to put up new curtains for Billy and supported this with a social story involving closing the curtains at bedtime. Billy responded well. Mum said he loved the new curtains and never pulled them down again. He even accepted the TV going off, and once he was getting a proper night sleep he became so much more alert and able to cope with the demands of school.
Case study: ‘Lights out for little Leon’
Sleep issues It was a Friday morning. I opened Leon’s home/school communication book to find that his mum had written a little note asking for help. She said that their night-times were becoming a nightmare and she did not know what to do. I phoned her right away and we had a long chat.
At night Leon had developed routines that involved turning off all the downstairs lights and the TV before going up to bed.
Leon was an anxious child and liked to be in control. Dad would take him upstairs and get him into bed. They would read a story and another story, and then Dad would stay in the room pretending to be asleep until he was able to sneak out.
Leon would sometimes wake in the night and Dad would go in again and stay until he was asleep. Mum said that this, whilst not ideal, was manageable, but things had changed recently.
Leon had started to want both Mum and Dad upstairs when he went to bed. He wanted Mum in their room with the door shut, and then he would not settle with Dad; he would lie in bed, eyes open, fighting sleep and if Dad tried to leave he would cry and try to scratch him. Dad had ended up staying in the room all night, sleeping on the floor.
New routines Inspired by a Carol Gray book called The Last Bedtime Story: That we read every night I decided to create a social story about bedtime that Leon could read every night.
The story explained the routine and that Mum and Dad would be nearby, but downstairs, and that he would be safe in his bed. I used cuttings from an old issue of Something Special magazine knowing that Leon responded to Makaton and loved Mr Tumble. I also made a visual schedule for Leon to follow. I asked Mum to arrive early to collect Leon so that we could discuss the new strategy. Mum was totally on board and relieved to have a plan. She looked exhausted.
Successful slumber! On Monday morning Mum arrived with a lovely card and a box of chocolates. It had worked! The social story had reduced Leon’s anxiety and they were all able to sleep in their own beds. Hooray!
SLEEP SUPPORT
10 ways to ease bedtime with routines
1. Same order – bath, pyjamas, teeth, toilet. 2. Same bedtime (before overtiredness is an issue). 3. Same number of stories. 4. Cup of water for that last drink. 5. Social story about bedtime. 6. Tucking in tight (if liked). 7. Blackout blinds or curtains. 8. A hall light on (if requested). 9. Same firm, calm responses. 10. Reward for staying in bed.
Adele Devine is a teacher at Portesbery School and director of SEN Assist.
Sometimes, something as simple as a set routine or social story can make all the difference, as outlined in the case studies. Be on the lookout for the signs of tiredness and offer your support. As Homer wrote in The Odyssey, “There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.”
Case study: ‘A window into Billy’s world’
Turn it on! Billy was always tired. You could see that glazed look in lessons and sometimes his eyes would close. I spoke with Mum and she said that Billy wasn’t sleeping well at all.
He had a TV in his bedroom, which was on all night. If they sneaked in to turn it off he would wake up and scream until it was back on, then take ages to calm.
They had a little house and a big family and had learnt it was better to just leave the TV on.
Curtain call I suggested a social story about bedtime, but wanted to personalise it for Billy (in the way we’d found worked for him at school) so I asked Mum for photos linked to their bedtime routine. Billy turning off the TV, Billy in his pyjamas, Billy brushing teeth, Billy having a story, Billy in bed, lights out, and finally asleep.
Mum was supportive and sent the photos in so that I could make the social story. I was going through the photos and when I got to the photo of Billy in his bed I noticed a big window with no curtains. I knew that their house was on a busy road and also that they liked to have lots of lights on outside at Christmas.
I called Mum to ask about the curtains. She told me that Billy had pulled them down ages ago and they’d not replaced them because he would probably do it again. I asked about the Christmas lights and she said that Billy would ask them to turn them off in the night because they were too bright.
And sleep… I convinced Mum to put up new curtains for Billy and supported this with a social story involving closing the curtains at bedtime. Billy responded well. Mum said he loved the new curtains and never pulled them down again. He even accepted the TV going off, and once he was getting a proper night sleep he became so much more alert and able to cope with the demands of school.
Case study: ‘Lights out for little Leon’
Sleep issues It was a Friday morning. I opened Leon’s home/school communication book to find that his mum had written a little note asking for help. She said that their night-times were becoming a nightmare and she did not know what to do. I phoned her right away and we had a long chat.
At night Leon had developed routines that involved turning off all the downstairs lights and the TV before going up to bed.
Leon was an anxious child and liked to be in control. Dad would take him upstairs and get him into bed. They would read a story and another story, and then Dad would stay in the room pretending to be asleep until he was able to sneak out.
Leon would sometimes wake in the night and Dad would go in again and stay until he was asleep. Mum said that this, whilst not ideal, was manageable, but things had changed recently.
Leon had started to want both Mum and Dad upstairs when he went to bed. He wanted Mum in their room with the door shut, and then he would not settle with Dad; he would lie in bed, eyes open, fighting sleep and if Dad tried to leave he would cry and try to scratch him. Dad had ended up staying in the room all night, sleeping on the floor.
New routines Inspired by a Carol Gray book called The Last Bedtime Story: That we read every night I decided to create a social story about bedtime that Leon could read every night.
The story explained the routine and that Mum and Dad would be nearby, but downstairs, and that he would be safe in his bed. I used cuttings from an old issue of Something Special magazine knowing that Leon responded to Makaton and loved Mr Tumble. I also made a visual schedule for Leon to follow. I asked Mum to arrive early to collect Leon so that we could discuss the new strategy. Mum was totally on board and relieved to have a plan. She looked exhausted.
Successful slumber! On Monday morning Mum arrived with a lovely card and a box of chocolates. It had worked! The social story had reduced Leon’s anxiety and they were all able to sleep in their own beds. Hooray!
SLEEP SUPPORT
10 ways to ease bedtime with routines
1. Same order – bath, pyjamas, teeth, toilet. 2. Same bedtime (before overtiredness is an issue). 3. Same number of stories. 4. Cup of water for that last drink. 5. Social story about bedtime. 6. Tucking in tight (if liked). 7. Blackout blinds or curtains. 8. A hall light on (if requested). 9. Same firm, calm responses. 10. Reward for staying in bed.
Adele Devine is a teacher at Portesbery School and director of SEN Assist.
When children are not sleeping through, their parents and siblings will usually miss sleep too. This can have a huge effect on family life and they will need practical support. Signs of lack of sleep • Sleeping in the day. • Tired-looking eyes. • Challenging behaviour. • Mood swings or irritability. • Loss or increase in appetite. • Fidgety and unable to sit still. • Reduced attention span and concentration. • Accidents and injuries. • Slower reaction times. • Learning problems.
Why it matters
When we sleep we recharge the brain’s battery. The more high-quality, uninterrupted sleep we can get, the more recharged we are. Lack of sleep can lead to reduced energy, depression, weight gain and a weakened immune system.
One non-sleeping child will have a huge impact and once a family are in the whirlpool of sleep deprivation, they may be too exhausted to seek a solution.
Sometimes, something as simple as a set routine or social story can make all the difference, as outlined in the case studies. Be on the lookout for the signs of tiredness and offer your support. As Homer wrote in The Odyssey, “There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.”
Case study: ‘A window into Billy’s world’
Turn it on! Billy was always tired. You could see that glazed look in lessons and sometimes his eyes would close. I spoke with Mum and she said that Billy wasn’t sleeping well at all.
He had a TV in his bedroom, which was on all night. If they sneaked in to turn it off he would wake up and scream until it was back on, then take ages to calm.
They had a little house and a big family and had learnt it was better to just leave the TV on.
Curtain call I suggested a social story about bedtime, but wanted to personalise it for Billy (in the way we’d found worked for him at school) so I asked Mum for photos linked to their bedtime routine. Billy turning off the TV, Billy in his pyjamas, Billy brushing teeth, Billy having a story, Billy in bed, lights out, and finally asleep.
Mum was supportive and sent the photos in so that I could make the social story. I was going through the photos and when I got to the photo of Billy in his bed I noticed a big window with no curtains. I knew that their house was on a busy road and also that they liked to have lots of lights on outside at Christmas.
I called Mum to ask about the curtains. She told me that Billy had pulled them down ages ago and they’d not replaced them because he would probably do it again. I asked about the Christmas lights and she said that Billy would ask them to turn them off in the night because they were too bright.
And sleep… I convinced Mum to put up new curtains for Billy and supported this with a social story involving closing the curtains at bedtime. Billy responded well. Mum said he loved the new curtains and never pulled them down again. He even accepted the TV going off, and once he was getting a proper night sleep he became so much more alert and able to cope with the demands of school.
Case study: ‘Lights out for little Leon’
Sleep issues It was a Friday morning. I opened Leon’s home/school communication book to find that his mum had written a little note asking for help. She said that their night-times were becoming a nightmare and she did not know what to do. I phoned her right away and we had a long chat.
At night Leon had developed routines that involved turning off all the downstairs lights and the TV before going up to bed.
Leon was an anxious child and liked to be in control. Dad would take him upstairs and get him into bed. They would read a story and another story, and then Dad would stay in the room pretending to be asleep until he was able to sneak out.
Leon would sometimes wake in the night and Dad would go in again and stay until he was asleep. Mum said that this, whilst not ideal, was manageable, but things had changed recently.
Leon had started to want both Mum and Dad upstairs when he went to bed. He wanted Mum in their room with the door shut, and then he would not settle with Dad; he would lie in bed, eyes open, fighting sleep and if Dad tried to leave he would cry and try to scratch him. Dad had ended up staying in the room all night, sleeping on the floor.
New routines Inspired by a Carol Gray book called The Last Bedtime Story: That we read every night I decided to create a social story about bedtime that Leon could read every night.
The story explained the routine and that Mum and Dad would be nearby, but downstairs, and that he would be safe in his bed. I used cuttings from an old issue of Something Special magazine knowing that Leon responded to Makaton and loved Mr Tumble. I also made a visual schedule for Leon to follow. I asked Mum to arrive early to collect Leon so that we could discuss the new strategy. Mum was totally on board and relieved to have a plan. She looked exhausted.
Successful slumber! On Monday morning Mum arrived with a lovely card and a box of chocolates. It had worked! The social story had reduced Leon’s anxiety and they were all able to sleep in their own beds. Hooray!
SLEEP SUPPORT
10 ways to ease bedtime with routines
1. Same order – bath, pyjamas, teeth, toilet. 2. Same bedtime (before overtiredness is an issue). 3. Same number of stories. 4. Cup of water for that last drink. 5. Social story about bedtime. 6. Tucking in tight (if liked). 7. Blackout blinds or curtains. 8. A hall light on (if requested). 9. Same firm, calm responses. 10. Reward for staying in bed.
Adele Devine is a teacher at Portesbery School and director of SEN Assist.
